The Joys of College

I was completely freaked by the idea of college over a year ago. The thought of having to share a room with another person (possibly a 'happy go lucky' preppy girl) was a living horror for me. And then the fact that I had to share a bathroom/showers with a whole hall of girls. Lord I was praying that it wouldn't come.
And yes, my first room mate was complete butt in my opinion. We were completely different people and couldn't agree on anything. She moved. A new one moved in.
Naturally, when Casey came for the interview of moving in with me I tried everything to try and make my floor seem like a living hell. (It kind of was. The only floor with public restrooms - the rest of the dorm had suites where two rooms shared a bathroom.) And while I attempted to make Poteat ground floor seem like trash, she simply said "I'll see you tomorrow" and left with a smile. Apparently her roommate was worse then mine and bad enough to move into a flooded ground floor of a dorm.
She moved in. You want to know how we became the best of friends?
We both liked "Jackass".
I had the DVD sitting out on the dresser that the TV was on and when I came back from classes while she was moving in she asked if it was mine and I said it was. Since that we've been buds.
I remember one time fondly.
We had known each other and lived together for three days.
She went to dinner at the cafeteria with me and Shannon (the girl that lived next door to me) and after dinner she stopped to talk to someone while leaving the Cafeteria. Me and Shannon kept walking.
We had left the cafeteria and were walking across the breeze way to Poteat when I heard a loud "HEY BITCH!". I automatically turned around to find Casey running after us.
I still haven't decided which is funnier. The fact that she called me a Bitch without hesitation or the fact that I turned around as if it had been my birth name called.
I love the fact that I can just get up and do something completely random and she simply laughs. Casey is most diffidently a best friend that I treasure her greatly.
I always thought coming to Meredith would be the biggest mistake of my life. Sure I agreed to it happily and insisted on coming here but I also dreaded it because most Meredith girls are the classic 'Barbie' that I don't intend to enjoy being around. And while this place is full of such 'model' girls who judge people quickly, its also got the great and random people like Casey, Shannon, and Kaitlyn.
I think I'll stick around this place if it means I can be around them.

A Bit Sore

Eh, today I had the 'joy' of having a small procedure done at the doctor at some 830 in the morning. As most know, I'm not a morning person in any way. Anything before noon is too early for me. But I had an appointment at 820 to have a mole removed from my under arm. (haha, I know. Ewww a mole! But honestly, most people have a mole. They just don't spread the word about it.)
The only thing that hurt was the shot that numbed the area. Other then that I didn't even notice that something was going on.
But I'm starting to feel it now.
While its great that its gone and no longer a burden or problem, my arm is sore!
But it hardly amounts to anything considering what I've been through. After a spinal surgery, there isn't much more that could be more painful.
But still, with a wound you don't feel like being in a dorm room, away from home. You just want to go home, curl up in bed and have nothing to do with classes or homework.
Life sucks.
You can't do that with college hounding you to get things done. Sadly, classes can't stop just because you don't feel like going.

It's Not Always Black And White

Its really hard for me to express my emotions a lot of the time.
I'm not the first person to confess to loving someone and I won't be the person to tell you when I'm sad or upset. It's just part of who I am. And while I hold up such a good 'poker' face of sorts I'm often caught in a whirlwind of emotions.
A lot of the time I'm "Emotionally Confused".
There are a lot of days where I feel lost. Sometimes I don't know who I love or if I care about things at all. But I suppose everyone has those days. It just seems like mine are greater in number then what might be considered normal.
I think that my 'not so understood' personality only fuels my confused states of emotions. Its hard for a lot of people now a days to understand my modest and reserved state of mind and morals. Its a struggle to help people understand who I am.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just drowning.